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Akiva Lane
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When Ellie Smith married Darth Vader why did she feel things were going up?

She became Ellie Vader.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a delicious English herring?

Yum kippers.

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Akiva Lane
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When Bill had to choose between a heavy oar and a light oar to use with his kayak, what did he choose?

Either oar.

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How did Bill's parents feel about his goal of being a plumber?

They thought it was a pipe dream.

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Akiva Lane
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When confronting a 2000 pound bull, what is NOT a good idea to do?

Don't take the bull by the horns.

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Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

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What was the motto of the salami company?

Our wurst is best.

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What flower is named after a part of the head?

Tulips.

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What music makes a person feel like a worn out cloth?

Rag time.

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What is one level below first class?

Kindergarten.

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Why couldn't the pony sing?

Because it was a little hoarse.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill take music stands from other places, and put them in his house?

When he felt strongly about something, he felt he needed to take a stand.

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