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Akiva Lane
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How did Linda react when she saw that her bank balance started with a minus sign?

She thought it was a bad sign.

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Why was the baker happy?

Because he had all that he kneaded.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the smoker, who craved a cigarette, feel when he got to smoke one?

Nicotine in the nick of time.

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What do you call a roof made of seal skins?

A seal-ing.

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What is built into the walls at Microsoft headquarters?

Microsoft windows.

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What do Siamese twins say to each other before dinner?

Would you like to join me before dinner?

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How did the horses feel when they were moved to a different stable?

They felt destabilized

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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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What happened when a tree doctor put the bark of an oak tree on a maple tree?

It didn't work, because he was barking up the wrong tree.

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What do transport companies and movies have in common?

They both have trailers.

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When there is a team of horses, what advantage do the horses in back have?

They have hindsight.

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Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

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