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Akiva Lane
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Why did Martha not appreciate her beautiful kitchen counters?

She took it for granite.

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Akiva Lane
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What's another name for computer generated music?

Algo-rhythm.

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Akiva Lane
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How can we know when someone is ready for dating?

When their dating resume is UP TO DATE!

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How did the students of the brilliant physics professor refer to him?

Dr. Know.

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Akiva Lane
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What Italian dish is similar to New York City in the summer?

Baked City.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Maxine want to charge the lightbulb with a saltwater battery?

She didn't want it to be charged with salt and battery.

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Akiva Lane
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Why in the army do they avoid giving treats twice?

That would involve a re-treat.

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Why is ethics like art?

You have to know where to draw the line.

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Akiva Lane
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Would anyone make or buy an odor-less perfume?

No, that would be non-scents.

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How do you describe when someone eats too much too fast?

Haste makes waist.

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What is another name of the dot-com bubble that burst in 2001?

The com before the storm.

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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

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