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Akiva Lane
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What is news from last week called?

Olds.

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What is a pretty angle called?

Acute angle.

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What do you call a crockpot that is broken?

A crackpot.

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When the cat fell into a large bag of quarters, why was it so scared?

Because it was in close quarters.

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What postage is similar to a woman giving birth?

Special delivery.

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What is similar between a tile salesman and a lizard?

One is a tile rep, and the other is a reptile.

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What is ironic when we eat food because we don't want it to go to waste?

Often that's the food that DOES go to waist.

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What do you call a polygon with thousands of sides?

A balagon ('overly complicated' in Hebrew)

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When the phone caller said 'I hope I'm not disturbing you', how did Andy respond?

Andy said, "You can't disturb me, because I'm already disturbed".

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Why did they come up with the phrase 'The Fastest Gun In The West'?

They wanted a slogan for a fast gun.

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After a long winter, how did the tree feel in the spring?

It felt releaved.

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Why did Fred dislike his job using a drill-press?

He found it very boring.

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