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What phone app helps you go to sleep for short periods of time?

The Nap App.

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What is the study of the fancy speech that con-men use called?

Prose and cons.

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What part of Queens, New York needs the most water?

Flushing.

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Why did he buy his electric car with a credit card?

Because he knew that the car needed to be charged.

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Why is it important to review a subject before taking a test?

Because then what you knew is re-knewed.

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Can you believe someone who eats steak from a male cow?

No, because he is full of bull.

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Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

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How did Matt and Milly Preiss describe their successful day of parachute jumping?

The Preiss's fell down to earth.

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How did the vegetarian feel about hotdogs?

They are the wurst!

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How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

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Where do boots go to rest and have fun in the summer?

Boot camp.

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What do you call a story about a mouse that lives in 2 cities?

A Tail Of Two Cities.

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