Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What do spiders and Google have in common?

They use the web.

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Why was Bill's band - that hummed while playing drums - not successful?

It was humdrum.

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What do you call software whose sales are flat?

Flatware

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What do you call a Polish person who is fishing?

A fishing Pole.

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Why is the location of the letter 'I' very important in marriage?

It's the difference between 'marriage' and 'mirage', and 'marital arts' and 'martial arts'.

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When the camp went camping, what did they call the group that got splinters?

The splinter group.

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Why did Sam wear waterproof shoes to work?

It was a new job, and he was getting his feet wet.

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Is this letter waiting for anything?

No, it's ready.

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After the earthquake destroyed the land where a well was, what did the engineer say who was looking for it in the dark?

I don't feel well.

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Why was the athlete with a very bad cold very sad?

His nose was running more than he was.

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What is it called when a government tries to get support by giving things away for free?

A free-for-all.

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Why did the tight-rope walker wear warm shoes?

He was concerned about getting cold feet.

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