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Why did Marsha like to read on the steps of the NY Public Library?

She believed that for meaning, you have to read between the lions.

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When Marsha told her husband on the phone that she was late, why did he call the police?

She said she was being held up.

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Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

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Why did Jim feel bad when he heard that the US will stop making pennies?

He thought it didn't make cents.

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What's in back of the back of a person?

The front of the person.

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What do you call a polygon with thousands of sides?

A balagon ('overly complicated' in Hebrew)

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Why was the hungry secretary like a clock?

At meetings she took minutes, and at meals she took seconds.

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Why did he buy his electric car with a credit card?

Because he knew that the car needed to be charged.

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Why did Billy ask to borrow his friend's shoes?

Because he was told not to judge someone until you stand in their shoes.

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How do you describe a water dispenser that is broken?

It's out of order, and it's out of water.

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What happened to the mathematical function that was very tired?

It couldn't function.

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What did the waiter say when the customer sent the food back to the kitchen?

Thanks for the feedback.

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