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Akiva Lane
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What do you call software whose sales are flat?

Flatware

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Akiva Lane
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How could Ami know for sure there was an odor in the room?

She just nose.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe an exciting job in advertising?

It's an ad-venture.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a stretched rope that walks around called?

A tight rope walker.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens every year in the universe?

We celebrate its universe-ary.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Dan double the size of the pockets on his pants?

He was told that to afford everything, he needed deep pockets.

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Akiva Lane
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What is someone called who is always thinking about buildings?

He has an edifice complex.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when people hold that only their belief system is valid?

Pious bias.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill try not to reminisce about his days in the Merchant Marines?

He didn't want to miss the boat.

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Akiva Lane
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Where do people who want to be smuggled across a border go to?

A flee market.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Maxine think her neighbors were squares?

Because they liked square dancing.

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