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Akiva Lane
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How was Gumby when it came to making appointments?

He was very flexible.

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Akiva Lane
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What organic compounds are similar to people who like teenagers?

Proteins.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Emily do when all the potato chips fell on the floor?

She let the chips fall where they may.

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Akiva Lane
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What fruit must get formally married?

Cantaloupe

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill start using AI to help him bet at horse races?

He wanted to be a better bettor.

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Akiva Lane
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In 1900 two brothers tried to make an airplane, why did they fail?

Because they were the wrong brothers.

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Akiva Lane
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Where do you go when it's night and you're in bed and you're tired?

You go to sleep.

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In the race, how did the runner's shoes do?

They were all tied.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is a young man and woman going out called a 'date'?

Because dates are sticky, and both are hoping it will be sticky.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a drug store called that specializes in drugs from vegetables and fish?

Farm and Sea Pharmacy.

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What do you call someone who is an expert about alarm clocks?

An alarmist.

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Why wasn't Charlotte concerned when she misplaced the basket of turnups?

She figured they would turnup somewhere.

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