Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What happened when Max’s wife asked him to get plums from the grocery store?

He plum forgot.

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Akiva Lane
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How were the untied shoes feeling?

They were fit to be tied.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the baker happy?

Because he had all that he kneaded.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

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Akiva Lane
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On what floor of a building do workers grind wheat into flour?

The ground floor.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Beth answer when Phil asked for a second date?

OK, I'll try a re-Phil.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the Smith family feel when they spent a lot of money painting their house blue, and they didn't like the color?

They felt they blew it, and they had the blues.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Beth like her job ironing shirts?

She was ironing bored.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the doctor (who nobody went to) eager to retire?

Because he no longer had any patience.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between a lawsuit, a birthday, and politics?

A lawsuit has 2 parties, a birthday has 1 party, and politics has many parties.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a broken can opener?

A can't opener.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim feel bad when he heard that the US will stop making pennies?

He thought it didn't make cents.

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