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What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

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What city in the universe is where you can get a good education?

Universe City.

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What is exercizing at home called?

The home stretch.

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What psychiatric tool is similar the noses of hippies?

Hip noses.

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What is similar between a tile salesman and a lizard?

One is a tile rep, and the other is a reptile.

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Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

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What happens to a person whose drinking leads him to committing crimes?

He goes from drinking bars to jail bars.

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How did the farmer like planting the field of wheat?

It was sow sow.

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When Nancy suggested putting grated cheese on the salad, what was everyone's reaction?

They thought it was grate.

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Why did the programmer call an exterminator?

Because he had a bug in his program.

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How did Cynthia feel about the fact that pollen counts were low?

She felt that was nothing to sneeze at.

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Why didn't people trust the model E phone?

They thought it was a phoney.

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