Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What's the motto of a computer programmer who enjoys programming?

I never metadata I didn't like.

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Akiva Lane
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What's good about using lion bookends?

Then you can read between the lions.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill feel when none of the off-switches for the lights worked?

He felt that they were all up-settings.

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Akiva Lane
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After visiting someone, when they say 'It's been great having you', how can you respond?

It's been great being had.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did they come up with the phrase 'The Fastest Gun In The West'?

They wanted a slogan for a fast gun.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a store called that sells only items for the left hand?

A second hand store.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of car can become a religious convert?

A convertible.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is K-OS not a good name for a computer operating system?

It sounds like Chaos.

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Akiva Lane
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How would you describe the fact that ducks make more and better eggs than chickens?

It's a para-ducks.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Barry's tongue hurt so much?

Each time he felt like saying something wrong, he bit his tongue.

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Akiva Lane
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What's the motto of a clothing maker that encourages young men to wear vests?

Go vest, young man, go vest.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alan say about his daughter traveling so much after she won the state's beauty contest?

I miss miss Missouri.

1965