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Akiva Lane
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Where did Joe and his friends go first when they got to the party?

They tried to beat each other to the punch.

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Akiva Lane
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Are outsiders allowed into the room called the 'well' in the Justice Department?

No, but it's just-as-well.

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Akiva Lane
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What are commas, periods, and question marks that are used in puns called?

Pun-cuation.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jerry looked at his legs, how did he know that he was eating too much?

His calves had become cows.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between a teenager with a credit card and a rhinoceros?

They are both dangerous when they are charging.

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Akiva Lane
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What does someone say who loves using thyme as a spice?

"Thyme is of the essence" or "I just need more thyme".

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Akiva Lane
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When Sara asked her friends to contribute to make the chocolate chip cookies, did they?

Yes, they chipped in.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the mid-wife say to the woman giving birth?

Grin and bear it.

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Akiva Lane
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What might a person be on if they can't be heard?

On mute.

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Akiva Lane
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What do baseball players do if they feel bad they didn't win the Pennant race?

They do Pennants Penance.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Jim hesitant about becoming a patient in a mental hosptial?

He wasn't really committed.

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How do you describe the protesters living in tents in front of City Hall?

A tent city in a tense city.

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