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Why did men find it difficult to understand what Abigail Terious was all out?

She was Miss-terious.

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In the race, how did the runner's shoes do?

They were all tied.

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What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

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Why did Dan double the size of the pockets on his pants?

He was told that to afford everything, he needed deep pockets.

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When Andy gave Meg the engagement ring, what playing card did Meg feel like?

The Queen of Diamonds.

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Why are all fish stores in Finland kosher?

Because they have Finns and scales.

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What did Sylvia say when her lunch fell down a well by mistake?

Oh, well.

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What pictures did the family put on the bedroom curtains?

Pictures of tomatoes and eggplants because they are nightshades.

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Why did Eileen Terr's name confuse people?

Because people called her Miss Terr.

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What part of the day does not have an odd amount of Ning?

The Even Ning.

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What is it called when you wave to someone with a small gesture?

A micro wave.

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How did Bob react when his friend said, 'You look so sunburned, did you use enough sun tan oil'.

Bob responded, 'You don't have to rub in in.'

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