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When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

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Why did Sam put his shoes close to the fireplace?

When people say 'hot shoes', he says 'G-d bless you'.

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How did Becky feel about hot dogs?

She felt they were the wurst.

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How are vegetables different than kids?

Vegetables are bad when spoiled and good when fresh, but it's not good if kids are either fresh or spoiled.

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What is a survey done over the phone called?

A telephone poll.

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What is someone called who is so good at finding things, that people pay for searching?

Profound.

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Does before come after after, and does after come before before?

Alphabetically yes.

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What is someone called who is wearing a racoon hat?

A tail bearer.

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What is the name of a memoir of the day-to-day tasks of someone who milks cows?

Daily dairy diary.

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When Bob got to the intersection, why did he make a right turn?

He didn't want to make a wrong turn.

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Why did people think the silent owl didn't care about things?

Because it didn't give a hoot.

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If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring.

Pilgrims

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