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What is a good name for a company that certifies bones for dogs to chew on?

Bone-a-fide

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How do you describe people who like good writing?

They are pro prose pros.

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What is considered reasonable at the UN?

Things that are un-reasonable.

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What is a husband and wife called in Czechoslovakia?

Czech mate.

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What do you call someone who is an expert about alarm clocks?

An alarmist.

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What did the seal with the broken arm say to the shark?

Do not consume when seal is broken.

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What is more minute than a minute?

A second.

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What is the difference between Moby Dick and a blues band?

One is a blue whale, and the other is a blue wail.

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What can you say about an old couch that was fixed?

It was in bad shape, but now it's recovered.

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What do you call a Z that lost its mind?

A cra-Z.

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How did worms get onto Noah's ark?

They came in pears.

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What is a stretched rope that walks around called?

A tight rope walker.

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