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Akiva Lane
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How did the world get its name?

Because when it spins around, it is whirled.

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Akiva Lane
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What it is called when California hi-tech companies fool people in a ridiculous way?

Silly Con Valley

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Barry ever work out in the gym?

He planned to go there, but it never worked out.

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Akiva Lane
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What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

A quarter to ate.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a newspaper that puts you asleep called?

The snooze news.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Fred spend a lot of time looking around the horse stable?

His therapist said his life should be more stable eyes'd.

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What are axes that are used by criminals called?

Axes of Evil.

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Akiva Lane
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When Nancy suggested putting grated cheese on the salad, what was everyone's reaction?

They thought it was grate.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Joe mind when the wind ripped the roof off his store?

He no longer had any overhead.

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Akiva Lane
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What bread is similar to money that was gotten illegally?

Sour dough.

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Akiva Lane
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After someone stole Bobby's clothes while he was swimming, did he get home without people seeing him?

Yes, but just barely.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you get when you find someone you want to marry?

You get married.

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