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How did the English teacher teach the class spelling?

She cast them under her spell.

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What happened when the large bowl fell off the shelf and knocked Betty down?

She was bowled over.

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Why did the barbershop realize it was a mistake to have two barbershop poles?

People thought it was bi-polar.

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What is similar between a worn out tire and getting social security?

It may be time to retire.

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How did Bill's hitch-hiking trip go when nobody gave him a ride?

It went without a hitch.

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If before marriage a man is incomplete, what is he after he gets married?

He's finished.

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Why didn't Bill like going to malls?

He felt that if you see one, you see the mall.

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If the Allentown bank merged with Capital One bank, what would it be called?

Al Capone.

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What is the difference between an elephant and a car?

One has the trunk in the front, and the other has the trunk in the back.

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During the truce in a war, what soup did both sides eat?

Peas soup.

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What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

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What room grows on a dead tree?

A mushroom.

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