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Akiva Lane
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What happened to the person who snuck into the heated swimming pool?

He's now in hot water.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call software whose sales are flat?

Flatware

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jimmy wonder where the planet Noyd is?

Because his mother said she was a Noyd.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the origin of the word 'stain'?

It's a spot that is stayin' in the clothes.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of the computer screen do you have to be careful about what it says?

The cursor.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the farm worker disappointed?

He thought he was promised a good salary, but they gave him a good celery.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a group of investors that trust each other?

A trust fund

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Barry ever work out in the gym?

He planned to go there, but it never worked out.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Johnny feel when he spent all the pennies in his piggy bank?

It left him cents-less.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the waiter say when the customer sent the food back to the kitchen?

Thanks for the feedback.

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Akiva Lane
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What was done wrong here?

Someone put all their eggs in one basket.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you translate MS/DOS from Hebrew to English?

Honest Thinking (Emes Das)

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