Pictures:

Why did the father bring a broken cup to the family meal?

He wanted to play good-cup bad-cup with his kids.

677

What did the new doctor say to the retiring doctor whose practice he bought?

Thanks for your patients.

1387

What do great track stars and confused people have in common?

They run around in circles.

2128

What do you call a bat that makes short, periodic dinging noises?

A dingbat.

1562

Why was Arnold arguing with his stomach?

Because he ate something that didn't agree with him.

2007

Why did Nicholas's friends call him 'Nick'?

Because that was his nickname.

2969

Why did Terrie Gross's boyfriend find her mysterious?

Because her name was Miss Terrie.

2690

How can we know when someone is ready for dating?

When their dating resume is UP TO DATE!

2576

What can be said about Edison's invention of the light bulb?

Both Edison and the light bulb were brilliant.

2209

What is a problem with the summer?

The weather is heading for a fall.

1668

Why didn't Maxine like using coupons that could be torn out of magazines?

She thought they were a rip-off.

1804

Why did Jim's team always win the tug-of-war competitions?

They had a lot of pull.

3092