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Akiva Lane
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How did the conversation go between a patient and the doctor who wanted him to cut down on mayonnaise?

Mayonnaise? No you may not.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is 8 followed by 9?

Because if you're offered food after you ate, you say: Nein.

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Akiva Lane
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What are the simplest 2 letters of the alphabet?

EZ

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Akiva Lane
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What did the mountain climber call his memoire?

Cliff's Notes.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Jack like playing Monopoly?

He felt like he was going around in circles.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an experimental program to teach people to fly, called?

A pilot pilot program.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call spaghetti that is a double agent?

An im-pasta.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the Curtis family feel after they had a pet bear for a month?

They couldn't bear it any more.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Beth like her job ironing shirts?

She was ironing bored.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the bike rider say to his friend after smashing into him by mistake?

I didn't expect to run into you here.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Bill's therapist say about his putting plus signs in front of all numbers?

He said it was a good sign and a positive development.

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Akiva Lane
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After being disappointed by the response he got, why did Jim go fishing at lake Excellent?

He was fishing for compliments.

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