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Why did the mathematician plant an apple tree?

He knew how to multiply, so in addition he wanted to be fruitful.

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What is a person called who knows a lot about eggs?

An eggs-pert.

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Why is the next fan the most popular?

Because it is fancy.

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What day do armies go off to battle?

March forth.

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What two letters indicate 'too much' of something?

XS

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What do you call a bat that makes short, periodic dinging noises?

A dingbat.

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What did Billy call the money he made from selling thumb tacks?

Income tacks.

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How is a bird similar to the wife of a miser?

They both go 'cheap, cheap'.

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Why do we peel fruit?

If fruit has a peel, it doesn't have appeal.

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How did Cynthia feel about the fact that pollen counts were low?

She felt that was nothing to sneeze at.

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What skill did Noah use to build the ark?

Ark-itecture.

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What time is this?

A quarter after 5.

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