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Akiva Lane
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What does a lawyer and someone who gave up liquor have it common?

They both passed the bar.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bob react when his friend said, 'You look so sunburned, did you use enough sun tan oil'.

Bob responded, 'You don't have to rub in in.'

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Akiva Lane
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What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

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Akiva Lane
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After Bob broke his leg, why wasn't he able to control his kids?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

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Akiva Lane
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Did Billy wake up very early to join his friends in the camping trip?

Yes, he rose to the occasion.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe a doctor that is against nasal sprays?

He's anti anti-histamines.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is a popsicle made of mist so interesting?

It's mistacle.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the rancher say to the person he thought was taking down parts of his fence?

I'm accusing you, but I hope you don't take offence.

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Akiva Lane
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How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are ticks in Rome full of love?

Because they are romantics.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a group of cars that are flooded after a hurricane?

A car pool.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the motto of the factory that makes canned food?

We can!

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