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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jimmy wonder where the planet Noyd is?

Because his mother said she was a Noyd.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alan do when he left his 5th floor apartment in the old apartment building without an elevator?

He walked down and later walked up the run-down staircase in the run-down walk-up.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the baseball player feel about baseballs that land close to home plate?

He felt they were hitting too close to home.

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Akiva Lane
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Why wasn't Charlotte concerned when she misplaced the basket of turnups?

She figured they would turnup somewhere.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when fishermen connect their nets together to catch fish?

An internet.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Amy call her book about why people put other people down?

The Meaning of Demeaning.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do you have to be very careful after drinking water?

Because after you drink it, it's drunk.

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Akiva Lane
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When you pay a therapist for a session, what does the therapist expect back?

Change.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the lesson of daylight savings time?

If clocks can change, so can we.

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Akiva Lane
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What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the prisoner try to break out of jail?

He figured that after all that jail time, he needed a break.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a dog called that swims back and forth in a pool?

A lap dog.

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