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Akiva Lane
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When the new driver felt he was driving too fast, what was very confusing to him?

He didn't know if he should slow down or slow up.

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Akiva Lane
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What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

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Akiva Lane
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Who starred in the animated movie about food?

The bagel had the leading roll.

1970
Akiva Lane
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Why was Charlie so concerned when he found a hole in his bag of marbles that he never noticed before?

He thought that he might be losing his marbles.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

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Akiva Lane
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How do trees feel in the spring?

After the winter, they felt releaved.

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Akiva Lane
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What's another name for a metronome.

A beat-nik.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Mark feel when he used a machine to get rid of his static?

He felt ex-static.

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Akiva Lane
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What is meat that falls on the floor called?

Ground meat.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about a candle before you light it?

It's met its match.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a tree that has apples for a pie, and it's root is shaped like a square?

The square root of pie.

2008
Akiva Lane
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How does a skunk know how to release its smell?

It uses its in-stinked.

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