Pictures:

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

What do you call a train carrying bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

959

What is full of holes but still can hold a lot of water?

A sponge.

967

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

What do you call shoes made of banana peels?

A pair of slippers.

970

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

What happened to the magician driving down the street?

He turned into a driveway.

966

Why did Arlene bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?

She had a make-up exam.

957

What did the lawyer wear to work?

A lawsuit.

969

Why didn't Bill use his photographic memory?

He never developed it.

961

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

What gets wetter the more it dries.

A towel.

979